We all know the phrase “If it was easy everyone would do it.” And that’s so true! If it was easy everyone would succeed.

But that’s not how this game works. Pursuing the kind of life you want to live is HARD! Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking that seeking to live the kind of life YOU want to live and dream of is just sitting around visualizing and focusing on positive thoughts. It’s not.

Does that help? Of course! It’s essential to train your brain, learn mindfulness and change your mindset but living this kind of life requires ACTION. It requires guts. Going against what you feel like doing. Pushing yourself out of the comfort zone. Stretching yourself in ways you didn’t even know you could stretch only to have to do it again and again, because there is no finish line on this journey. It’s an on-going one that is incredible beautiful but that can also can kick your rear so hard you wonder at times why you even left the couch to pursue your dreams and a better life.

You will want to give up so many times you are desperate to find an excuse to. But that’s the thing with this. Once you begin, it’s hard to stop. You have become responsible for your own life. You know you are the captain and it’s up to you. There are no excuses in this land of growth and personal development. It’s only forward. No going back. Because as soon as you train that brain, knowing you are in charge of your emotions, reactions and life, it kindly reminds you what you are capable of if you only stop holding yourself back. It nags you. And you know that voice is true. Welcome to a world that doesn’t come with any warning labels or exits.

Once you’re here you want others to join because even though it can be hard, it’s also intoxicating. It’s not a crowded world. Opposite. You feel like you are on a different planet. You see others wanting to join this amazing planet called “Pursuing Your Goals & Dreams” They start but they haven’t fully jumped in yet. They begin to cross the bridge but then they get discouraged. They try again on January 1st, go to a seminar, join a course, even hire a trainer. They do so because they hope it will help them instantly leap over the bridge to success.

That mindset doesn’t work. No one program, no one coach, no one mentor, mastermind or book can change your life 100% for the rest of your life. Each is part of an on-going journey and plays its role in pivoting you forward that moment, even if it’s just the tiniest step.

And that’s where it gets tricky. So many expect a weekend away at a seminar or taking that course will be that thing that finally helps them stay in the forever land of perfect. They get motivated enough to think they can, but then they get home, surrounded by life and all the distractions that pulls them away from the motivation and declaration they felt when they left that conference room, finished that book or webinar. A few days go by, a week, or month and suddenly that fire within is gone. Or maybe there’s enough motivation for that famous start and stop, which usually only means zero to little real progress.

Life isn’t like the Bachelorette on TV. It’s full of meetings, life happens, responsibilities, people, bills, never ending laundry, dreams we want to pursue, and guilt for forgetting a friends birthday, all mixed into one giant 24-hour day that on paper looked organized but in real life flew by so fast you are not even sure it happened. And how on earth can you have been so busy all day but accomplished so little of what you intended to work on, like you and your life?

I get it. It’s not an easy walk or talk. Life is a beautiful mix of hope and heartbreaks.

Everyone wants a better life and achieve their dreams. I think we can all agree on that. But again, that’s where it gets tricky. Few are willing to pursue it long enough for things to turn the corner as that can take years or even decades. And that’s a long ass time to keep doing before seeing any real results.

It can be like that bamboo tree. You plant a seed, water it, and nothing happens for five years. I mean, seriously. Who has that kind of patience? At least give me a sprout. Some kind of visual and hope. Imagine watering that thing for five years and nada. Nothing. Not a damn thing. What if you got a faulty seed? Then what? You start over? Yup. Welcome to pursuing your dreams. It’s a shit show of a roller coaster that has you on the highs so high you think you can fly, followed by lows so bad you really question your sanity and IQ level.

But we, the crazy dreamers, took the red pill. There is no going back no matter how much we wish. And those that get enough taste of it, have that nagging feeling inside too. Restlessness. Wanting something different. No wonder over 60% of employed people hate Mondays and wish it was Friday. That voice inside of them is screaming – you are not meant to be here. But then the other voice goes “I don’t know how to x, y and z.” And when you have two voices going on and not sure what direction to go you get stuck in the mud going absolutely nowhere.

I think the reason why the personal development space exploded is for that one simple reason: people truly do want a better life. I mean, unless you’re Barbie and Kent, why wouldn’t you? But reality is, life gets in the way. Family members are on a different time frame. It’s hard to be the one that wants to change when the rest don’t or are yet ready. Many feel embarrassed for wanting a better life so they quiet that voice inside.

That’s why it’s hard work. It takes guts. Patience. Resilience. It takes so many different things. But what if we could change the personal development space forever by changing how we approach things?

What if we could turn the table and have the majority of people wake up in the morning feeling as if they are excelling their life and living their legacy instead of just the few? Now, that would be a game-changer and dream worth pursuing. That my friend is a dream I’m pursuing.

Camilla Kragius is the Founder of No More Hamster Wheel. In 2008 her life changed when a dear friend passed away. It made her ask “When I’m done, what kind of impact and legacy will I have left behind?” She decided to start showing up more intentionally and began a deep-dive into personal development. Today she helps high achievers excel to the next level by giving them clarity, focus and strategy so they can live their legacy. Besides her love for non-profit work and helping people excel her goal is to reach 250 million people with her Live Your Legacy message. Look for her upcoming book scheduled to release Spring of 2019. Follow her on Instagram. 

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” ~Jim Rohn

If you pay attention you will notice that you have picked up habits, phrases, attitude, beliefs, self-talk and even body language from the people you spend the most time with. It’s become part of your blueprint and often you are not even aware of it. Why is that?

There are two reasons. First, you have something called mirror neurons. From the time you were a baby you were mimicking those around you. That is why you smile when someone smiles at you. That is why you yawn when someone yawns. And that is why you pick up on habits, phrases, attitude, beliefs, self-talk and body language from those you are with.

Research on mirror neurons are still in the early stages as to what effect it has and what role they play, but you don’t have to be a neuroscience geek to see that much of your behavior mimics those you spend the most time with. That includes your positive or negative self-talk language, your belief system, you income, success and even your health and body weight.

The second reason is that your brain’s pathways and neural connections are always molding, it’s called neuroplasticity, and you can help shape the pathways and connections you want.

Basically, for this purpose, what that means is that what you allow to enter into your mind, either by the influence of the people you spend the most time with or input you choose to allow into your mind is who you become! Your brain will process what you give it, create those pathways, so if you give it negative input it will produce more of that, if you give it positive input it will produce more of that too. Your brain is a very loyal machine and will do what you ask it to do.

Today it is known through neuroplasticity that you can think yourself into anything, including thinking yourself into becoming sick, sabotaging success, and a variety of less than ideal outcomes. Which also means you can think yourself into not becoming sick, not sabotaging success, and other positive outcomes. There’s a book called The Power of Neuroplasticity that I recommend you read to understand this better, and no worries, it’s an easy, yet life-changing read!*

If you surround yourself with negative, always complaining, always blaming other people, you start picking up on that simply because that is what your mind is fed. If you surround yourself with positive, not complaining and always taking personal responsibility kind of people, you start picking up on that.

You can’t always choose who you are surrounded by like immediate family. But what you can do, is to limit your exposure to those you can, understand the impact your spouse, sibling or parent’s language has on you and create a barrier to it, and then work hard at implementing the habits, positive self-talk, attitudes, mindset and actions that will help you become the person you want to be, and work at becoming a shining light that can positively influence those around you.

That means seeking out people that you want to become and learn from them. It takes time and effort to change direction if you realize you have surrounded yourself with the wrong people. It takes guts to fire friends that are not good for you. It takes bravery to say no to those that suck the life out of you and create boundaries. It takes effort to seek out new friends, groups and community and it takes effort, love and patience to deal with those you can’t fire.

But if you want to achieve your goals and dreams, get stuff done and live your life to the fullest remember you become the average of the people you spend the most time with. Choose your friends and the input you allow into your life wisely!

Are you surrounding yourself with the right people in order to go to where you want to go?

*Link goes to Amazon and is an affiliate link. However, as always I only recommend books and products I use and believe in.