You know when you are getting that feeling that something is coming to an end, but at the same time, having a hard time letting go? That is how I am feeling right now about a few things in my life. I know it’s time to take the next step but at the same time it is a bit scary. Accepting and recognizing are two different things. I have recognized it but I’m still in the process of accepting. I’m trying to stand with one foot on each side so that I don’t have to choose. But we all know that is not reality. I know it has to happen, and when it does, I will be fine. And, I will wonder what took me so long.
To make matters worse I’m quite a sentimental person. I’m listening to Jean Michel Jarre at the moment as I’m writing this. Most people here has never heard of him, but in Europe he is huge. He put on a free concert at the Eiffel Tower in Paris when I lived there. He is a solo artist and he was playing all these synthesizers while the entire Eiffel tower was beaming in various colors synchronized with the beat of the music. It was beyond a cool experience. It was a dream come through. I still remember that feeling every time I listen to his music. http://www.jeanmicheljarre.com/
It also takes me back to my life living in Europe and great memories. I wonder sometimes why we lose track of so many people that meant so much to us back then. Friends we thought were going to be in our lives forever. Friends and things that meant the world to us. Things we thought we could not live without. But somehow we all moved on and survived. Made new friends, adapted, had new and different experiences. We all survived that change. And we are still fine.
I stay in contact with some friends from those days. Facebook for sure has connected me with many. We are different now, yet we have something in common. Our memories. Good times, bad times. They are part of who we are. And, sometimes we have to look back to reflect on where we are going. Remember. Smile. Laugh. Cry.
I’m a different person now, yet, I am still very much the same. I have the same spirit within me, just with a lot more experiences. Remembering earlier days helps me move forward. For me it has to do with remembering the free spirited person with no fear that just went for it. That did not hesitate a bit. That is still within me but it has gotten a tad dusty while trying to fit into this adult life. I’m still the rebel that paves her own path. The non-conforming spirit. But life experiences has made me more of a thinker. My impulsive nature has landed me in trouble before. I’m trying to think before doing, instead of doing before thinking. I’m trying to be wiser.
Could it be though we are trying to be too cautious as adults? Should I? Should we? What if? Is that the right thing to do? Are we complicating the questions when the answer is easy?
I think that if we leave out the chatter we already know. I know I do. And I have known for a while. I have no doubts. Still, it is scary to take that step. Plan for that step. Because despite knowing things will be amazing it is hard to leave great behind. Great is not bad. Great is comfortable. But just like my earlier days I will eventually reflect on the great days and realize they were part of the journey to amazing. I will cherish them. Remember. Smile. Laugh. Cry. And I will be fine.
I hope you will try to leave the chatter out. Try to remember the spirit within you. The energy. The spark. It is still there. It’s not easy. It’s scary. But when you recognize it you will smile. You will feel that energy. And you know there is no going back.