Today it’s time for some personal responsibility talk. As a reader you know I’m big into taking responsibility for your own life. No one, no matter how much you may deserve it, will come and roll out the red carpet for you. You have to roll it out yourself.
I often hear people say “If I only had more money I could x, y and z” or “If I only had more time I could x, y, and z.” And of course the “I hate my job. I wish I could work on things I love to do.” No worries, I’ve said those words too. We all do. But if you are chronically saying those things on a regular basis you are wasting your time wishing for a future that won’t happen unless you do something about it.
The difference between the doer’s and the wisher’s is that doer’s start doing something about their situation. They want a different future so instead of wishing it will happen they start working towards making it happen. They take that first step, which leads to the next step and so on.
Doer’s are proactive while wisher’s are reactive. You can either happen to life or allow life to happen to you.
Definition for proactive:
(of a person, policy, or action) creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened.
“be proactive in identifying and preventing potential problems”
synonyms: enterprising, take-charge, energetic, driven, bold, dynamic, motivated, go-ahead “you need to be more proactive about the causes you care about”
Definition for reactive:
showing a response to a stimulus.
“pupils are reactive to light”
acting in response to a situation rather than creating or controlling it.
“a proactive rather than a reactive approach”
having a tendency to react chemically.
“nitrogen dioxide is a highly reactive gas”
So what can you do if you fall in the wisher’s group?
1. Change your mindset. As soon as you default to the “If only…” say STOP and change that to: “I am in charge of my own destiny. What steps can I take right now to get closer to where I want to be?” Create a plan. Write down goals you want accomplish and then make subgoals on how to get there.
2. Be brave enough to go after what you want and live the kind of life you want to live. The number one regret of dying people is that they didn’t live a life doing what they wanted to do but lived a life based on what others expected them to do.
3. Surround yourself with people you wish to be. No, this is not about becoming a copycat. It’s about learning from those that are doing what you want to do. Find a couple of role models that are where you would like to be and learn from them. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in one day. Those people didn’t just go from nothing to where they are today. They got there by making a decision to be a doer and work their way to where they are.
To be brave and go after what I want is probably one of the best advice ever given to me. I hope it speaks to you like it speaks to me.
So I’m challenging you today. It’s time to stop coasting and start living. Ask yourself. Are you living your life the way you want to? If not, what are you doing to change that?
What group do you want to belong to…the doer’s or the wisher’s?