Today it’s time for some personal responsibility talk. As a reader you know I’m big into taking responsibility for your own life. No one, no matter how much you may deserve it, will come and roll out the red carpet for you. You have to roll it out yourself.
I often hear people say “If I only had more money I could x, y and z” or “If I only had more time I could x, y, and z.” And of course the “I hate my job. I wish I could work on things I love to do.” No worries, I’ve said those words too. We all do. But if you are chronically saying those things on a regular basis you are wasting your time wishing for a future that won’t happen unless you do something about it.
The difference between the doer’s and the wisher’s is that doer’s start doing something about their situation. They want a different future so instead of wishing it will happen they start working towards making it happen. They take that first step, which leads to the next step and so on.
Doer’s are proactive while wisher’s are reactive. You can either happen to life or allow life to happen to you.
Definition for proactive:
prōˈaktiv/
adjective
(of a person, policy, or action) creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened.
“be proactive in identifying and preventing potential problems”
synonyms: enterprising, take-charge, energetic, driven, bold, dynamic, motivated, go-ahead “you need to be more proactive about the causes you care about”
Definition for reactive:
rēˈaktiv/
adjective
showing a response to a stimulus.
“pupils are reactive to light”
acting in response to a situation rather than creating or controlling it.
“a proactive rather than a reactive approach”
having a tendency to react chemically.
“nitrogen dioxide is a highly reactive gas”
So what can you do if you fall in the wisher’s group?
1. Change your mindset. As soon as you default to the “If only…” say STOP and change that to: “I am in charge of my own destiny. What steps can I take right now to get closer to where I want to be?” Create a plan. Write down goals you want accomplish and then make subgoals on how to get there.
2. Be brave enough to go after what you want and live the kind of life you want to live. The number one regret of dying people is that they didn’t live a life doing what they wanted to do but lived a life based on what others expected them to do.
3. Surround yourself with people you wish to be. No, this is not about becoming a copycat. It’s about learning from those that are doing what you want to do. Find a couple of role models that are where you would like to be and learn from them. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in one day. Those people didn’t just go from nothing to where they are today. They got there by making a decision to be a doer and work their way to where they are.
To be brave and go after what I want is probably one of the best advice ever given to me. I hope it speaks to you like it speaks to me.
So I’m challenging you today. It’s time to stop coasting and start living. Ask yourself. Are you living your life the way you want to? If not, what are you doing to change that?
What group do you want to belong to…the doer’s or the wisher’s?
I was just thinking about this earlier today. I was going to make the call to my officially appointed butt-kicking team and ask them to do their jobs. Thanks for being proactive!! Keep it up.
Rick Theule recently posted…Using My Own Words Against Myself
Rick, I will be on your butt kicking team 😉
Ouch! On point as usual, Camilla. Between this and Jim’s post on Friday about being a multipotentialite, I’m all upside down.
I do appreciate a good, swift kick in the pants every once in a while.
Eric C recently posted…Sit down and have a cup of coffee
You’re welcome! 🙂
I love this post. It drives me insane when people want to complain and are not willing to do anything to change. Change is hard but living in a constant state of suck is just not an alternative I can accept.
Thanks for the kick in the butt! Gotta get back to writing!
Kristin recently posted…Don’t let your lifestyle creep up on your income
Thank you! I agree…complaining about it won’t make anything better. Change can be hard but staying stagnant while complaining about it is not the way to live a life. Enjoy writing!
This is perfect for me right now. I’ve been in reactive-mode where it comes to my schedule and my writing has taken a back seat and been pushed aside. I’m going to be more proactive and actually make the time to write… and surround myself with other writers to encourage and be encouraged.
Sometimes life gets busy and that’s okay, especially if we are in a season of life, but usually we can find 15-30 minutes each day if we are intentional about our time. We can easily waste 15-30 minutes on Facebook, browsing the internet or watch TV. I applaud you for making the decision to make time and surround yourself with other writers. Try finding an accountability partner. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Come back and let me know how your writing is going 🙂
Camilla,
You hit that nail on the head. Well done!
Michelle recently posted…Giving is fun
Thanks Michelle!
I want to be a doer, of course!
I feel like more of a wisher lately, though, because nothing seems to be happening fast enough. It’s very easy to get caught in the reactive routine without even realizing it, especially when there are a million and one things to do.
It’s easy to go into reactive mood when feeling overwhelmed, things are not moving the speed you want or dealing with a busy schedule. Key is that after that 30 second rant to stop and turn it around. But we all need that 30 second rant here and there too. We’re only human.
“You can either happen to life or allow life to happen to you.” – Exactly
Brad recently posted…Obstacle #257,876 – The 20 Mile Race that Never Happened